30/08/2011 quotes

Q1 - my cat at home has no meow ... it just opens its mouth and nothing comes out
Q2 - is "crazy in the face" worse than "mental in the face"?

22/08/2011 & 23/08/2011 quotes

Q1 - they can run for miles with a plasma TV under their arms but when they have to walk to get water there's nothing but whinging outta them
Q2 - I'd rather suck a sweaty sock
Q3 - but that's Old Testament ... I mean they didn't have fridges
Q4 - she lives in England somewhere ... in a car

16/08/2011 quotes

Q1 - you can't talk to someone when you're having a shite - it's your own private moment

12/08/2011 quotes

Q1 - I could eat the balls off a low flying duck
Q2 - going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a hooker for a hug

09/08/2011 - 11/08/2011 quotes

Q1 - I hate dyslexia, it doesn't exist - people are just stupid
Q2 - they're dirty bastards them Pet Shop Boys
Q3 - I didn't touch alcohol until I was 21 and the first night I did I set my hair on fire
Q4 - I don't have a Smart phone, I have a Scope phone

08/08/2011 quotes

Q1 - "he had a funny voice, very deep" - "yeah, like he should have been black"
Q2 - someone get that spastic on a plane
Q3 - where the fuck are the scissors?
Q4 - fuck your housekeeping you're eating nothing. You can starve you cunt!
Q5 - close the door and the your mouth from the other side
Q6 - sickens my dung
Q7 - do you think a homosexual would get away with rubbing some old granny?
Q8 - there was one boy who had a really tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny head

05/08/2011 quotes

Q1 - she wouldn't let me go to Belfast so I had to climb out the bathroom window
Q2 - "sure I know your Da" - "I'd like to think so, he's your brother!"
Q3 - they just have to mix them because there's not that many of them
Q4 - he spat on me first!

04/08/2011 quotes

Q1 - your da looks like a porn star
Q2 - he looks like Freddie Mercury
Q3 - Ting Tong McAdangdang!
Q4 - who would have thought that innocent child would turn in to that hussy there
Q5 - look at these nob-cheese-balls
Q6 - it's not a real job, it's just a laugh
Q7 - he was going to sue him because he wasn't allowed to eat ham
Q8 - camel toe, that's not porn that's just someone with the wrong trousers on

03/08/2011 quotes

Q1 - there's a reason it's called a 'job'
Q2 - there shouldn't be any chewing involved
Q3 - don't put a crayon up your nose there's too many forms to fill in
Q4 - ATOL my hole
Q5 - don't take it off on the sick HR are after everyone's hole

02/08/2011 quotes

Q01 - I shit my knickers at lightning
Q02 - it's like dealing with blankets
Q03 - as soon as we head down south we start talking in southern accents like two wank-boxes
Q04 - he doesn't believe in romance, he just sticks his balls in your face
Q05 - that fuckin' brandy ball is burnin' the mouth off me
Q06 - everyday in here is shit
Q07 - what's the address of this piece of spunk
Q08 - if I was in the same room as her I'd kill her with my thoughts
Q09 - you can't suck people's balls ... you'd choke!
Q10 - don't go with a woman in her mid-30s, she can't be arsed
Q11 - A day spent in here is a day wasted

01/08/2011 quotes

Q1 - fuckedy, fuckedy, fuck, fuck
Q2 - they just stand in the back with their balls out
Q3 - shit or get off the pot - no, shit in the pot
Q4 - the handles burned off the barbecue
Q5 - so ... does anyone know when Dallas is starting?
Q6 - where is the Dancing Queen?
Q7 - I just heard that 'Owling' is the new craze
Q8 - I went to use that photocopier the other day and it just said no