28/04/2011 quote

Q1 - it's like sucking cock in the rain

22/04/2011 quotes

Q1 - I had to take the child with me because her Da's a prick

Q2 - I fell asleep on the bus and ended up in Monkstown

Q3 - "Monkstown?" - "It's where they make monks"

Q4 - I can't print clarification sheets, my computer says no

Q5 - We're off for Easter and I have to spend a week in the real world, I won't be able to cope!

20/04/2011 & 21/04/2011 quote

Q1 - Your Da's not your Da. You're going on Jeremy tomorrow for a DNA. This is your chance to shine on TV so put your best shellsuit on

Q2 - There's too many nutbars out there

Q3 - "when I was a kid I had to walk 2 miles to school" - "In your bare feet?" - "Nah, I had Clarks on!"

Q4 - Do you think my daddy doesn't know about Kim Kardashian's hole?

Q5 - they should have Sky Plus for radio so I can pause it

Q6 - I was away being a rent boy in Barbados

Q7 - Mormons wear special magic underwear

18/04/2011 & 19/04/2011 quotes

Q1 - I might just drink their tea and not give them a voucher
Q2 - I pay more rates than them, I have an outside tap
Q3 - You can't bring a wean into that, they don't even have oil heating
Q4 - He looked like a dog's shit
Q5 - I love elbow skin

15/04/2011 quotes

Q1 - I've got 'pull-in' pants at the ready
Q2 - I'd rather be a whore than a housewife
Q3 - my child likes cowboys, all I could think of was Brokeback Mountain
Q4 - you're going to turn in to a petit filous
Q5 - fuck your tin of coke
Q6 - you never see a Chinese funeral, where do they go?
Q7 - you have to be fluent in Irish to work for the Republican Civil Service
Q8 - They're very good with dogs ... animal lovers

14/04/2011 quotes

Slight change to the blog, from today I'll only be posting quotes.
Enjoy.

Q1 - bring me one ... not just anyone - they have to have money
Q2 - who the fuck are these people?
Q3 - I don't mind you running over birds I don't like any of them
Q4 - I could make millions from being a retard
Q5 - there isn't enough drink, god help him

11/042011, 12/04/2011 & 13/04/2011 topics

- gardening
- babies
- vegetables
- fashion
- Glastonbury toilets
- cakes
- one big shoe
- doing a job properly
- chicken fillets
- work magazine
- hangovers

Q1 - it's taken her 13 minutes to make a cup of tea

Q2 - I needed the length, you know?

Q3 - the only reason I'm leaving early is that I have a chicken to cook

Q4 - I love sprouts but the people I live with don't love me when I've had sprouts

Q5 - you never lie to your child

Q6 - Never buy wicker shoes

Q7 - Clogs aren't the done thing. They're shit!

Q8 - You're better off shittin' in a trench

Q9 - she probably pissed on the floor

Q10 - you couldn't eat a wee penguin

Q11 - Amateur!

Q12 - that doesn't annoy as much as everything that led up to it

Q13 - folks died wanting

Q14 - I've been to Southfork ... and I bought a pair of cowboy boots

Q15 - I think she might have been a man

Q16 - if you're going to do life for assault you might as well do life for murder

Q17 - i spent all day Saturday boking my ringer up

Q18 - the League of Ireland has now started and Derry City have had an OK start with two wins, two draws and one loss from their opening three fixtures

Q19 - I'm gonna sell you on eBay, I don't want to be your mummy anymore

Q20 - I'm not a child

Q21 - it's like being held captive on Loose Women

Q22 - I'm going to put something through a window, this conversation has to stop

Q23 - she wouldn't have the brains for casework, she can't even speak English

07/04/2011 & 08/04/2011 topics

- staff moves
- hen nights
- strippers
- Bob Dylan's gig in China
- The Rocky steps
- murdering your spouse
- all you can eat buffets
- silent rage
- underage smoking and drinking
- cannabis
- Grand National sweep
- Glee

Q1 - he's up her hole sideways

Q2 - he said 'you look fucked up', he's not good with compliments

Q3 - he's got a Kim Kardashian hole

Q4 - those Chinese would stand up for anything

Q5 - he can talk the talk but can he walk the walk

Q6 - he ate so much he needed a shite break

Q7 - he's as wild as a crow

Q8 - it's the last song I danced to with my granda before he got his leg amputated

Q9 - you're a overstaffed glee club

Q10 - clean off one of the high stools, I had a real sore face the next day

Q11 - they wouldn't help me up, I was lying there for about a minute

Q12 - "you can play the spoons" - "will i be able to sing and play the spoons at the same time? ... nah I can't"

Q13 - my grey hair won't dye, they're back everybody by the way

Q14 - just suck a walt

Q15 - "he's some crazy band member" - "and he's a dick too"

05/04/2011 & 06/04/2011 topics

- tea break snacks
- secret x-rated diaries
- quote of the month survey
- over monitoring
- tech support
- fake perfume
- staff moves
- because of our conversations in work we can't have normal conversations in the real world
- poor air conditioning
- unanswered voicemail
- town challenge
- film extras
- falling over drunk
- feet

Q1 - she's a dirty bitch

Q2 - is it still alive? ... can you not hit it over the head with a spade?

Q3 - he had you tortured, he was texting you the colour of his knickers

Q4 - what is it? is it magic?

Q5 - he got a good deal then scampered away like fuck

Q6 - air my breasts ... did you get a whiff of eau de boobs

Q7 - institutionalised, we have become

Q8 - when we were in love he used to do the hard skin for me

Q9 - I should be locked up! There's wiser in fields eating grass, as they say

Quote of the Month: March

the first time we don't have our flat and there's two sluts lookin' bucked

Quote of the Month: February

The Wheels is in hospital - She failed her MOT!

04/04/2011 topics

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Bonus